How to Point Out a Fallacy without Sounding Like a Jerk

Here's the shortest answer you'll ever get from us: You can't. Unless you're a teacher, pointing out a fallacy just makes you look like a logical bully. Or, worse, a logician.

Correcting a fallacy is like correcting someone's grammar: Unless you're a teacher or parent, just let it slide. Rhetoric teaches you that winning an argument means winning over people, not just scoring points. It means getting your audience to like and trust you. Being a logic snob does not make you likable.

On the other hand, what if you have a ready audience besides your illogical friend? In that case, you can try taking the fallacy literally and following it to its hilarious end. You may get a laugh.  Even from your friend, if he's a good sport.

We made this video with an example from our favorite logician, Homer Simpson.

Speech's Greatest Teaching Tool: Prosopopoeia

Prosopopoeia (pro-so-po-PEE-ah) used to be something every student did. It involved channeling the voice and character of great historical or literary figures, often in different settings. A great way to use it today: have Martin Luther King debate Jeb Bush in inequality. Or Thomas Jefferson argue about climate change. Or Chris Rock explain to King George III why British policy in the colonies isn't working.

See this video for more.

How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket

If you've read Thank You for Arguing, this story will seem familiar. A cop gives you a ticket for going a couple miles an hour over the speed limit. The temptation for sarcasm is awful. What do you do?

The first thing to do in any disagreement is to set your goal. Most people want to win an argument on points, as if a panel of Olympic debate judges will raise scorecards. But to win a deliberative argument, it's best not to try to outscore your opponent. Try instead to get your way.

In this case, you want to get out of a ticket. The secret: be the good citizen the cop wants you to be. Agree with him...tactically. ArgueLab's Christina Fox demonstrates:

For more videos, click here.

How to Apologize

My most popular corporate talk, "How to Screw Up," tells how to take your own mistakes--or those of your company--to actually improve your reputation. The same techniques work in your personal relationships. They involve a few steps:

• Be first with the news. Don't wait for others to report your screw-up.
• Have a plan to fix things. Acknowledge your error--even say you're sorry--while showing what actions you'll take to try and keep it from happening again.
• Name the personal values you violated--your passion for detail, your belief in timeliness, your loyalty or faithfulness. Then say how your temporary lapse makes you all the more committed to these values.

Do these things sincerely, and you'll find that people can actually respect you more. Not despite the screw-up but because of it. Trust me. I'm a master at screwing up.

Here's a video that tells how people have reacted to my advice. Guess who object more: men or women?

Do This in a College or Job Interview

In Thank You for Arguing, I show how the Ciceronian outline can help you make a winning speech or presentation. That same outline can work for a job or college interview. It's simple:

Start with a good first impression, boosting your ethos--the audience's impression of your character. Show you know the job and would be good at it, that you understand the company, and that you'd be a good fit. The same things work for a college, only they're also looking for virtue, signs that you're a good, mature person. Talk about the lessons you've learned. Be confident but humble.

Next, ask good questions and show a command of the facts. Make your case for why you're better than the competition. Tell a good story of a problem you solved.

Finally, don't be afraid to show a little emotion. Don't sing opera or burst out sobbing. Just a little passion. Say how excited you are about the possibility of working or studying at this wonderful place, and that you're sure you're the perfect fit. Let your eyes shine, lean forward a little and--lower your voice a bit. Strangely enough, speaking more quietly can show more passion, as if you're sharing a secret.

Watch this video to see how Christina does it.

Here's a secret that can help you land a job or get into a college: in rhetoric it's called the peroration.

Is "White Privilege" a Bad Thing?

A follower asked us this great question: 

I have had a recurring argument with various friends and family about the term "white privilege". My argument isn't about discrimination, I KNOW it exists and find it disgusting. My argument is that the term itself is not persuasive at all. It raises hackles and makes perfectly reasonable people angry. It suggests that somehow, just by being born white, we have done something wrong.

I know, I know, that is not the intention, at least by most of the people I have discussed it with. BUT that is how it "feels" and it does not bring friends to the table to an open discussion. When I have had these discussions it usually comes down to the other person saying "So what would YOU call it?" To be honest, I can't think of a thing besides discrimination. Can you pitch me a flotation device here?

Here's Jay's answer:

In rhetoric, you need to work off the beliefs and expectations of your audience. Accusing that audience of being evil just because of who they are won't win you many fans, clearly.

So what "flotation device" can substitute for white privilege? Try "white privilege." Embrace the term. Say you're all for white privilege, but think that everyone in America ought to have the same great privilege. Because this is, you know, America!

Maybe the problem isn't our privilege as white people. It's the fact that not everyone in America has our awesome advantages. So, yay for white privilege. Instead of feeling guilty about it, we should all do our best to make sure everyone gets it. The Great American Promise is that white privilege will someday truly become American privilege. -Jay Heinrichs